dont you just 

hate those nights you cant fall asleep ,

those nights youre up wishing it was different ,

wishing you were different

in hopes it wouldve made a difference .

dont you just 

hate those feelings that break you down .

those feelings that weigh your heart to the bottom of your shoes 

slowly pulling you under water and to where you cant breathe .

dont you just 

hate those nights when drinking isnt enough ,

enough to take away the hurt ,

whenno amount of booze could ease the pain building and building in your chest .

as if you can actually feel yourself breaking .

dont you just

hate those days when faking a smile doesnt work , 

when a painted on face still doesnt mask the hurt ,

& you have to just suck it up and accept whats happened

whats going to happen

and what might never happen again .

dont you just 

hate when nothing and no one can make you feel like you want to .

no one can be who you want to be with ,

dont you just 

hate when you never feel good enough

that nothing you ever do or say is ever enough ,

dont you just

hate when you want to help but you feel helpless ,

worthless , as if youre making it worse by doing nothing about doing something .

dont you just 

hate when you feel alone ,

alone in room full of people . yet you’re the only one standing still .

dont you just 

hate that life isnt what you ever expected / hoped / thought / dreamed it would be .

- sarabrooke ;